For most people, the roads of life have many, many curves.  Just when you feel you are on a straight highway, bam, unexpected curve blind sides you!  I believe most of our life lessons are right there in the middle of the curves.  What we do with those lessons determines how long the next straight away will go on for.  You basically have two choices at that point; 1. Crumble into a victim mentality or 2. Rise up and gain from this lesson.

I have had a few curves that not only blindsided me; they straight up kicked my butt!  The most traumatic was the death of my Dad when I was 14 years old.  It was unexpected and horrible.  Without going into details, my brother and I saw things that were completely life changing.  Although this is a rough example, it is a perfect example as to the two choices I listed above.  My brother embraced the victim mentality and has used it throughout his life.  The feeling that everything he does or has done is correct and Mother Theresa like, but the worlds around him (you know, the evil, immoral people that try to tear him down) really have it out for him.  He does not hold himself accountable for anything.  The victim mentality is great if you want to shove your head up your ass and hide, but sucks if you ever want to really live. If you do not learn from the lesson, then the lesson was a waste!  I happened to take the rise up and gain lesson.  It didn’t just snap onto me.  I was pissed.  I was mad at God for allowing my Dad to die, and for putting me through something so horrid.  Although I was still mad, sad, scared… I, with the love and support of my family did rise up.  I learned quickly to love and live life to the fullest, always.  I learned that most things that are considered problems are in fact just challenges, not problems.  I came to believe that as long as we are alive, all is well.  Everything but death can be improved upon.  That is how I live my life still.  I actively keep positive thoughts in my head and eliminate the negative ones.  It is a choice I make to be happy.  It doesn’t just happen, I actively choose it!

I speak with people all the time that instinctively crumble at conflict.  They immediately drop their heads when they hit a curve.  Me being the blunt, not so delicate type, call them out on it.  What exactly is it that is making you crumble?  Money?  Money is the easiest fix there is.  Get out and earn it, jackass!  I have money issues too, but the difference is that the first person I turn to with a pointed finger, is myself.  I know that if we need more money, we either need to spend less or make more.  Easy fix.  Relationship problems?  If you are married and there is not abuse; actively work harder at being happy together.  If there is abuse, get the hell out!  If you are not married and have no kids; maybe I am demented but if you are in a relationship that is not blissful while not married and without kids, GET OUT!  Why would you struggle when you aren’t locked down?

Basically, what I am saying is for you to embrace the curves in your life.  These are opportunities to grow as a human.  They will hurt, they will make you sad, and they will question your faith.  Let yourself feel the emotions then quickly pull yourself up and take the lesson you were meant to learn from it.  Make the choice to be a person that conquers, not crumbles!  I repeat; MAKE THE CHOICE!

Debbie Dickerson



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